Alright kids, get some popcorn and settle in. 31 hours post broken water, and almost zero sleep for 48, Mia finally came. Here's how it went down.
Wednesday, May 8th
Today my “bloody show” (if you will) started coming out ever
so slowly.
I didn’t tell Joel till the end of the day. I knew it might not mean anything…I knew this
could last days or weeks. We were 17
days from my due date. The majority of
first time births come 8 days past the due date, my natural childbirth
instructor taught us. We were mentally
prepared for, and expecting to go 26 more days.
Thursday, May 9th
I woke up feeling a little weird. I took a shower, and in a split second I saw
the entire rest of my “show” come out and go down the drain. Later I sat at my breakfast bar stool
watching Joel make his breakfast, told him what I just saw, and that I felt
weird.
I went to work like normal, but still feeling this weirdness
(I really can’t think of another way to put it), I also felt a surge of focus
and adrenaline. I decided to knock off
everything on my pre-baby to-do list today – something I planned on taking at
least another week. I worked harder and more focused than I think I ever have
...“work nesting” we’ll call it. As I
finished up for the day, I even wiped down and dusted my desk area and
completely de-cluttered – something I only do on non-busy Fridays or before a
big vacation.
I came home and got about 50 more things done, including
reading the entire car seat manual and installing it – for the first time. I left it in the car, and Joel and I joked
that driving around with an empty car seat would be “like practice.”
Joel got to bed at 10, and I stayed up trying to come off of
my adrenaline rush. I finally felt tired
around 11:30 and got into bed. While I’m
trying to fall asleep I felt some light cramps.
All the sudden I feel a sharp pain at what feels like my cervix (I have
no idea). I winced out loud and Joel
woke up and whispers, “what?” I say
“nothing.” Twenty seconds later I feel a
gush of fluid, that scene my birth instructor said “only happens in movies.” I got up from bed and tried to walk the 8
steps to the bathroom with my knees together (as successfully as you can
imagine) and started saying “shit” over and over. By this time Joel has sat up and says
impatiently “What!”
“Well, my water broke.”
And all of the sudden, we have Zero idea what to do. Our class’s “scenario generator” had little
to say about the rare water-breaking-before-labor-beginning situation. Again…only in movies does this happen, they
say.
We couldn’t figure out- does this mean we go straight to the
hospital? Or do we wait it out
here? What the heck do we do?
Friday, May 10th
We called our Doula at midnight, who happened to be at
another birth. The Luck! She told us to
stick around home and get some rest for as long as possible. So that is what we did….not do.
I went to sit on a pile of towels on our recliner, to save
our Westin Heavenly from any more fluids.
Which, by the way, kept coming out. And out. And out. This, I did not
expect nor did I read ANYWhere, thankyouverymuch every “The Top 10 Things
Nobody Tells You About Childbirth” blog posts / childbirth class / the
internet.
I tried to fall asleep but of course couldn’t. Contractions were coming every 7-25
minutes…very irregular, and what I know now by comparison to be “mildly”
painful. I urged Joel – who has, like, a
black belt in falling asleep, to get as much sleep as he can (after a
pre-emptive Gatorade run to the apparently
“sketchy-ass” 7-11).
He went into the bedroom, and I emailed all my co-workers
every tiny detail I could think of for all the things I had left hanging. Twenty minutes later Joel came out with the
baby name book.
“Should we pick out some middle names?” he asked. “No sleep??” I asked. Obviously not.
We did not know the baby’s sex, so we had 2 boy and 2 girl
names picked out. We had not, however,
decided on any middle names just yet. So,
we went through the book and picked out a middle name for each of our 4 options
while I ate ¾ box of dry Life Cereal from my chair. At about this time I remember that the car
seat is all ready to go and congratulate myself on some dang good timing.
Needless to say we got little sleep that night…Joel about 3
hours, myself about half that.
We called my OB at 6am.
He was not on call this weekend, but assured us that he’d be as present
as possible. He knows we want to go the
natural route, and from what we could tell, he also knows that the OB on call
would not be as “excited” about this birth plan. Bless him.
He told us to come into the hospital at 10am. We knew we wanted to wait as loooong as
possible before going in, and after greeting neighbors on a walk around the
hood, we went in around 11:30am.
Our doula, after getting about 3 hours of sleep after attending a birth the night before, meets us in triage and we all “hang out”
trying to get my labor to progress. I
make many lunging trips around triage, go up and down the stairs, and stop for
breaks to watch the Mother’s Day edition of Ellen – how appropriate. My contractions weren’t really doing anything
different, which obviously nobody liked.
Here's us with our snacks in triage, and me not near real labor.
Four hours later a Labor and Delivery room finally opened up
and we got to settle in. We had a nurse
there who was an angel from heaven – an L&D veteran who loved a good
natural birth. She encouraged everything
to try to progress labor, and I mean “everything”, if you know what I
mean. “Surprisingly” I wasn’t in the
mood, I told her.
It was 6:30pm and my OB had been encouraging us to take some
Pitocin to get labor to progress for the past 3 hours (progression at this point is imperative
since my water broke and there was a risk for infection, which is dangerous for
the baby). We finally gave in after some
delay tactics, (and after he came in to talk it through face-to-face to make
sure we weren’t trying to be idiots by going “all natural” for the hell of it) and
compromised on using less Pitocin, less often than standard procedure.
This is when labor really began. We put Pandora on Ingrid Michaelson (after a
failed Dave Matthews Band attempt) and got to work. I do not remember one contraction where I
didn’t have 4 hands touching my body…rubbing my back, arms, neck, hips,
etc. Joel and Laura – the doula- put in
some work. When they say natural
childbirth is hard work, it is truly hard work for all involved.
I put some serious miles on that birth ball.
Saturday, May 11th
Around 2am things started heating up more and Laura set up
the bath for me and Joel to get in and try some bath laboring. She set up fake candles to create a peaceful
space and we got in, and all I could think about was how much this sucked. I
could feel Joel behind me and I could tell he was getting incredibly
uncomfortable in this warm tub. He got
out, and I get into a position facing the side, and Laura came and sat outside
the tub rubbing my back while I labored some more.
At this point Joel came back and asked if it would be OK if
he called somebody to come help for a bit…I can tell he is getting weary. Of course, I said, and we make a short list
of the people he will call until someone answers.
My good friend Chariti came. It was 3am. Joel put on some headphones (with my
blessing!) and closed his eyes on the padded bench in our room and got a 30
minute rest. I knew that the more rested
he could be the better help he would be to me.
And, I could tell he was about to break.
I would have too, if I had the choice.
There was just no getting out of this for me. Later he tells me that right before this
point he was reciting our wedding vows in his head…he said he could really feel
the “for better or worse” part… the duty and love required in marriage.
Chariti stayed for about 2 hours I think. I remember her coming while I was still in
the bath, and she was outside the bathroom chatting with the nurse about her
weekend. I remember feeling that weird
“child-birth-zilla” moment and almost – almost – told her to stop talking
because it was distracting and annoying me.
I remember thinking – yep – this is mid-to-late labor, when you can’t
stand to hear somebody just “chit chat” in the other room. I almost laughed but of course, did not.
I instead looked up at Laura and asked her how much longer
this would take. She said maybe about 3
hours, maybe more, and I LOST it. “I
cannot do this for that long” I whined to her like a child. I started talking about getting an epidural
and she told me that I can get one if I want.
I knew this was up to me…Joel came in and I told him the same, and he
tells me the same – whatever I want.
What I really want is
for somebody to come and give me a C-section and get this over with, I
secretly thought. I decided to just keep
going. I reminded myself of my reasons (better recovery, better
start to breastfeeding, less chance of a c-section), which helped a little...but not much.
I moved to the bed and was there for about 2 hours in all
positions…contractions on top of contractions, with no time to breathe and rest
in between like I had been promised in all of my classes….thanks to the Pitocin,
like I had been warned.
During one particularly tough contraction I heard Joel’s
phone ring. He picked it up (while standing
next to me holding a hand-held fan up to my face) and I could not believe my
eyes. I tell him with big wide “I mean
it” eyes to “Get Off The Phone,” using the nicest “I’m in labor so do what I
tell you” tone I could muster. He told
me later that day that it was my dad on the phone, and everyone was worried
since things were “taking so long.”
I’ll
forgive him this once.
The sun finally came up, and I felt like I needed to
push. I get the go-ahead and I must tell
you that even at this very moment, I did not think the baby would come out of
my body. I was so beat down, and so
exhausted, with my legs shaking and my husband feeding me water and honey from
those tiny straws on demand, and me begging that his small hand-held fan never
leave my face, I really believed that this would go on forever…this horrible,
horrible Pitocin induced labor.
I finally feel hope when the nurses come in and prepare for
a birth without the OB. Maybe, just
maybe, this would finally stop.
Then all of the sudden, my OB comes in – wearing a ball cap,
running shoes and workout clothes. He
says that he can be here for the next 20 minutes, but then has to go meet his
daughter for a 5K race they are doing together downtown.
He slipped on booties over his shoes, and sat down in front
of me (I am on my back – the one position I swore I would not be in to give
birth) and I immediately begged him to make sure I don’t tear (after all this, I still ask..I know). His assistant starts dripping oil on me like she's sprinkling fairy dust, and my doctor impatiently
takes the oil from her hand and dumps the entire contents on me.
I finally understand how women who have given birth lose all
sense of shame.
I push through 2 contractions, and the baby is finally here,
placed on top of me immediately. 7:23am. At this point I cannot believe my eyes, so
relieved that this is finally over.
After about 30 seconds of me repeating “oh my gosh” Joel
finally interjects and asks – “so – what is it??” All of the doctors and nurses erupt in a
chorus of “I didn’t see it, did you?”
Dr. Chavira finally picks up the baby and announces – “It’s a girl!”
It’s a girl. What I secretly wanted and will only admit this now to you, on the internet.
Yes that is a D.A.R.E.shirt on my husband. And no, we did not plan that to coincide with a "drug-free" birth.
Dr. Chavira tells me I didn’t need any stiches and I am
relieved (and thank my 6lb baby girl).
He came over to me, we said a Hail Mary and our good byes, and he headed
out the door to the 5K. His
ball cap was on his head the entire time.
For the next few minutes the baby and I worked on
breastfeeding and staying warm, and Joel finally looked over at me and
says-slash-asks “She looks like a Mia (?)” and I instantly concur.
One thing I was surprised about was that I didn’t cry
when I first saw her (I'm sort of a crier). I think I was too “shell-shocked.” Later that day Joel and I have a moment alone
with our sleeping Mia, and I bury my head in his chest and say behind tears
“That. Was so. Traumatic.” I really, at
this moment, thought it was the hardest, most traumatic experience of my life…something
I couldn’t possibly do again.
Looking back on it now, and hearing many other birth stories
since, I realize it was par for the course when it comes to natural births. And after meeting with our class participants
and all their new babies, I learned that we were only 2 out of 5 that actually
went natural like planned. Childbirth is crazy!
Since that day I have felt the “trauma” less and less. And I will do it again. Yes! Let’s do it again. Maybe… with an
epidural next time :)
Mia - 1 day old, on Mother's Day
