A Mother's Blessing

Earlier this week I was honored to be a part of a beautiful ceremony celebrating my friend Sharon. She is a few weeks from giving birth to her second child, and she wanted to do something different than a baby shower this go-around.

So some of her good friends gathered around her and threw her a Mother's Blessing.  (aka. Blessingway)  It was one of the coolest evenings I have ever experienced!  Here is a brief recap of the night in seven {Awesome} quick takes!

And thank you Sharon for letting me use your photos!! :)

1.

The night started with amazing food and great conversation.  Our favorite wine sommelier (everyone needs one of these in your friends group!) poured up some awesome wine and we started the night off right.

2.

Knowing Sharon would love it, we hired a Henna artist to paint a tattoo on Sharon's belly.

You guys. I am not exactly the type to show my bare belly during pregnancy, but I would seriously consider getting a Henna tattoo next time I'm pregnant.  It is just so beautiful!!!!

3.

After we ate, we went outside to this amazing set-up:

4.

We then each lit a candle that we had brought and went around the circle offering encouragement and our favorite things we love about Sharon.

5.

Then we each took a rock and wrote a word on it that we wanted to offer Sharon to think about, or know that we were praying for while she is in labor.  Strength, peace, grace, etc...

6. 

Throughout the ceremony there were beautiful readings from the Bible as well as from the book shown above, Jesus Calling.  Then at the end we did two things - we connected ourselves by one piece of string around our wrists, and then cut it.  We will wear it until she goes into labor.  Then we laid hands on her and prayed.

7.

At the very end of the night we took home the candle we had lit.  We are then going to re-light it when Sharon goes into labor as a reminder for us to think about her and send her positive thoughts and prayers.

You guys, what an amazing night.  I highly recommend doing something similar for any mom you know who is about to give birth.  It can be done so many different ways depending on what kinds of things the mom likes to do.

It was just such a meaningful night for everyone, and while the night was all about Sharon, it really bonded us as fellow mothers and friends.  

It was -- you guessed it --  freaking awesome.

8th bonus and completely shameless take: 

I released the 3rd and final part to the Child Development and Identity podcast series today!  It is an awesome interview, you have to check it out!!!!

In it I interviewed MaryRuth Hackett, a developmental Psychologist and mom of four.  In the 3rd part of the series we talk about how to help instill confidence and a healthy self-esteem in our kids.  We talk about things like body image, family culture, and the importance of the language we use with our kids.

Check it out! :)

...Ahem.  This is part of my current 31 Days of Awesome Kick.

Why I don't use birth control {in an analogy}

If any of you know me very well, you know I am not much of an instigator or a lover of controversy. I like to keep things easy to digest, light-hearted and agreeable to the masses.  For the most part, I think it is very hard to convey emotionally charged ideas in the perfect context, tone, etc. over the internet so I usually avoid it.

I guess today I'm feeling differently.  Maybe it's because I was so annoyed at much of the media's misrepresentation of the Hobby Lobby verdict recently (<< this link is fine, on the other hand).  

Or maybe it's because of Buzzfeed's post on Wednesday that brought the question "why we use birth control" to the table. 

Or maybe it's to join this conversation about why some of us choose not to use birth control.

[Update: Here's another great list from a Buzzfeed Community post!]

At any rate, here I am.  I understand I am probably preaching to the choir since I know many of my readers are in the same boat as me. But here I go anyway.  I just have two huge disclaimers: 

1. I do not think you are a bad person if you use birth control. We are all trying to make the best decisions for ourselves and our families, and decisions around sex are very very very very very personal.  Again.  We Are All Doing Our Best To Figure Life Out.

2. I am NOT perfect.  One of the main reasons I don't like talking about this is because of this fact.  I have realized in very real ways that our lack of perfection steals our courage.  

So, I am here to answer one question and one question only: 

Why do >> I << choose to not use birth control?

I could give tons of reasons but I really just want to add to this conversation by giving an analogy that I feel best explains it for me.

Remember these analogies back in grade school?  Weren't they great? Am I stalling?

Ok, so you know how there are these diet pills out there that claim that you can eat whatever you want, and if you just take this pill, you won't gain weight?  We usually laugh at them, right?  Let's imagine that one day they actually make something that Actually Works.  It is truly a miracle of science.  

{photo credit}

The drug encapsulates all of the extra calories you don't need and passes them through your system instead of letting your body absorb them. And like I said - let's imagine that this actually works, and better yet - nobody laughs at it anymore and it becomes socially acceptable for everyone to use.  Would I use it?

For the same reason I am confident I would not take this pill, is why I don't use birth control.  I feel like our bodies are made in an amazingly ingenious way.  We are hungry, we eat food, it nourishes our body, we find enjoyment and pleasure in it, we sustain life.  But there are rules to eating - natural consequences that we all know about.  I can't eat donuts all day or I will feel sick.  If I never eat a vegetable I will have vitamin and mineral deficiencies and my body won't work to it's potential.  And if I eat more food than I need to fuel my activity I will gain weight. 

This is not a perfect analogy, but I feel like it is very similar to sex - with it we build a strong relationship and bond with our life-long partner, our families are blessed by this strong relationship (not to minimize what else goes into a good relationship), and the entire human race is sustained when new life is formed.  But there are rules with sex also.  A woman's reproductive system usually runs on a 28-35 day cycle.  If we have sex on a day that we are fertile, it is very possible and likely we will create a life. And if we have sex on an infertile day it is very likely we will not create a life.  These are natural consequences.

Therefore, I am the type of person that likes to let the world work as it was meant to because I believe the world was made in a very specific, beautiful, smart way that has my best intentions at heart. I think that going against how the world was made can lead to some serious consequences.  I get sick from eating too many donuts because hey - I shouldn't be eating so many donuts.  And I would have a hangover after drinking too much and hurting my liver.  And I would likely contract an STD if I had sex with 30 people (even if I used a condom.)

I think natural consequences teach us things.  They teach us prudence, temperance, justice and courage...and I want all of those things.

Lastly, as I think about teaching my daughter about the natural consequences in life, I can't help but feel silly at the thought of telling her when she's 16: honey, I really hope and suggest you wait to have sex with your future husband, but if you don't wait, at least use a condom to hopefully! avoid the consequences. 

Let's imagine for a moment that I do tell her that, and the birth control fails (which happens alllll the time - do you remember where I used to work?) and she gets pregnant.  

{photo credit}

Will I feel even sillier because her whole life I was telling her that if she hits a dog it will bite her, and if she refuses to eat what's on her plate she'll go hungry, and if she doesn't study she'll fail her class, and if she doesn't change the oil in her car the engine will fail, and if she is late for work too many times she will get fired?  Yes. I will feel incredibly silly that I taught her about consequences except in this one little tiny instance - in that thing that has eternal consequences.  Creating a life won't just effect your whole entire lifetime (in a really awesome and beautiful way).   It is of eternal, awesome, consequence when you create a life - that has a soul - that will live forever.  

Sex is a big deal.

I think that's how awesome and important it is to pay attention to how we are made, and respect it.

This ONE Thing has changed my SAH Mommy Life

Everyone has asked me - how do you like Staying at Home????

I always answer that I love it (which I do), but it has come with some interesting challenges.  One of which is figuring out how to actually get something DONE with all of this free time. This is what I mean:

• I put Mia down for her nap at 9:00am, ready to get ALL THE THINGS done during this 2-hour window
• Clean up kitchen from breakfast
• Bring toys from the kitchen back to their "toy area"
• Walk past 3 pairs of my shoes on the floor, bring them to my closet
• Look in the mirror and remember that I haven't showered in 3 days
• Take a shower
• While in the bathroom I notice some random items in a drawer
• Decide to re-organize my bathroom drawers
• See a photo album in the bottom drawer.
• Look through photos for 5 minutes
• See a picture of my sister and realize I haven't talked to her in over a week
• Text back and forth with her 
• Bring a random camera battery from one of the drawers to the office 
• See a mess on the desk
• Clean off desk and notice my computer
• Decide I should check some email
• Open a tab for Facebook while my email loads (who can wait those 4 seconds?)
• Waste 20 minutes on FB
• Read a post on my moms group page about an interesting parenting approach
• Look up on Amazon for a book about the approach
• Remember that I should order some X,Y and Z 
• Read reviews and compare products for 20 minutes
• Remember my to-do list and leave the computer to get the laundry
• Throw a load of laundry in the wash
• Come back to hear Mia crying, awake from her nap

And there goes my precious window for prime productivity.  With half of one to-do list item done.

So, a few months ago I listened to an interview about a book called The ONE Thing by Gary Keller.  I honestly haven't read the book yet (though coincidentally Joel just read it and loved it), but the interview explained it well enough that it is about how we need to stop trying to get so much done at once, and just focus on one thing at a time.  It can even translate into one thought / thing for a week, month, or a whole year, which I also think is a great idea.  I'm pretty sure he even suggests the One Thing should be narrowed down to one word.  Whoa.

ANYway, since being a SAHM I have realized how little I can get done with  seemingly "so much time!"  So I remembered this idea of the One Thing and started deciding that at the beginning of every day (and sometimes before) I would decide on the One Thing that I want to accomplish, the thing that if I just get this done today, I will feel satisfied.  It may be a load of laundry (washed AND dried) or another chore, an errand or a blog post, but whatever it is, I write it down on a weekly tear-off calendar on my fridge and make sure I get it done.

You guys, this may seem like it is a small goal, but it has changed my life.  Going from a 9-5+ job to an "Every Day's a Saturday!" feeling (which can be very good, and very bad), I feel like I finally have a handle on my days, on realistic expectations for my to-do list, and so much better focus.

She just couldn't wait to eat those eggs.

I usually do this One Thing during Mia's first (and sometimes only) nap of the day.  Which means, often I get it done before noon which is - seriously - the best feeling ever.  Anything I get done after that is like a huge bonus!

Because babies are notorious for un-folding your to-do items.

One of my favorite bloggers Jen wrote an awesome blog post about daily routines that has equally enhanced my life.  She reflects on the schedule that Mother Teresa's Missionaries of Charity follow, and how their day isn't what you might expect, and the lesson you can take from it.  She has 6 (I think?) kids, so her struggles are NOT my "I keep getting distracted by FB" struggles, but actually real daily routine struggles.  Anyway, it is a great read if you are looking for even more inspiration.

Have a great day!

7 Quick Takes about books, sewing, gifts, and hair bows for sale...

Linking up with Jen for some Quick Takes!

1.
As you may remember, Joel got me an awesome Sewing Machine for my birthday!  I have been playing around with it here and there for the past few weeks and have successfully completed 3 projects. I have decided to bore you with the details.

a) I added button holes and buttons to close the opening to a duvet cover.  Not sure why the company thought it looked fine with it open, but, problem solved.
b) I made a pillow cover that I am a little too proud about, even though Joel asked me the other day: "So....what are these pillows for again?" They're pillows, Joel. 
c) I hemmed a cupboard skirt (I'm not sure if that's an official name?) that I have had up for 2 years to cover a bottom cupboard that doesn't have a door.  Of course nobody notices that it's hemmed, but I just know that it's hemmed. 

After crushing these beginner projects I'm about to give in to my beaming confidence and make Mia a dress. Enough of this kiddie pool swimming, I'm ready for the high dive!

2.
I've also been making more hair bows lately, for Mia and for gifts. Many people have told me I should sell them, so here we go: If you want a hair bow just shoot me an email! I'd love to make something for you, and have tons of different colors and kinds of fabric, elastics, hair clips, pins, etc.  Here are a few examples, and they cost $5 each.

I also wrote a tutorial about making fabric flower headbands - if you'd rather make one yourself here it is!

3.  Mia got a little blow-up pool for her birthday from my parents, and wow - she loves it.  I just wish it was big enough for me to play in it, and especially go down the slide.  Since it's been 108* out lately, water is definitely our friend.  We also have incredibly kind and generous neighbors who let us use their pool anytime.  I'm pretty sure Mia will grow up thinking it's normal to waltz over to your neighbor's back yard basically whenever you want.  We might have to clarify that at some point.

4.  Ok.  Does anyone else love reading books, but seldom actually reads? Or starts 5 books, all at the same time, and doesn't ever finish them?  That's usually been me.  Until recently.  It all started when I read Jen's Something Other Than God, and turned into a book-finishing-marathoner. I just realized how much I love reading, and how much more fulfilled I feel after having done so, as opposed to how I feel after watching TV.  Bleh.

So in the past 4 weeks I have read 2 books and finished another one I had started months ago.  You may think, wow, Kristin, what are you some kind of Awesome Reading Professional?  But listen people, this is a lot of non-internet-based reading for me.  And since I would recommend them highly, here's what they were:

1. #SOTG as noted above, awesome book
2. Orange is the New Black by Piper Kerman (much different than the Netflix version. MUCH. )
3. Carry On, Warrior by Glennon Doyle Melton, a gift given to me by a friend that I am SO grateful for.  It reminded me of The Last Lecture, in that it was just chock full of wisdom. I didn't agree with 100% of it, but I loved it all anyway.  I read on her blog that she's working on another book, and I will definitely be reading it.

I have also started Dad is Fat, by the funniest of the funny Jim Gaffigan, which was dropped off at my Little Free Library! I was literally about to buy the kindle version (that I read from an iPhone app: game changer), but it showed up in the library a few days later. I call that Amazingly Awesome.

Joel and I decided on a new "norm" to shut off the TV (most nights) for a 9-10pm reading hour.  Kind of like Happy Hour, but, no, wait, that's way different.

5. I ALSO want to find a few of these at the library this summer, especially the audio versions.  What a great list for a business-y dork like me.  

Summer reading is taken to a whole new level here in Phoenix, where we spend most June-August indoors gazing at Facebook pictures of our friends at backyard BBQs.   SO, instead of that, (ahem) I have set a goal for myself to read or listen to 10 books between now and August 31st. I'm typing it out loud so I will stick with it.  Hopefully this tactic works.  Stay tuned for the report!

6. My dear sister Maddy turned 20 a few weeks ago.  

This is her surprising me at the airport back in April for Mia's Baptism

I'm not sure if you all know how excited I get at every one of her birthdays, but it's exCITED.  I am just so ready for her to be an adult and for us to be able to be a new kind of "friends!"  Like real, peer-to-peer friends.  Being 9 years apart was fun and all when I was 9-15. But now we get to be adults together, forever, and age and life stages won't really be that big of a deal.  And next year I can buy her a cocktail! I just can't wait.  Happy Birthday Maddy!!!

7. As mentioned already, we are very blessed to have some awesome neighbors.  The family that lets us use their pool has a daughter who Mia just adores.  One day she asked if she could take a picture of Mia for a project at school.  Then, months later she gave me this:

Oh my heart. It is just the cutest thing in the world. I told her, in complete honesty, that I have very few things I would grab from my house if it were on fire, and this will now be added to that hypothetical list. 

People are awesome.  Let's be more awesome to each other.

Have a great weekend!

Framed Magazine Clippings Quote

I was reading my friend Sheena's awesome blog, like, a minute ago, and realized while reading her post about using cool pictures from a magazine as art that I have YET to post about a gift I made last Christmas!

So, instead of waiting until November to be more seasonally appropriate (maybe my plan all along. You'll never know.), here it is..

It was for my work's Secret Santa homemade gift exchange, with a $15 cap on spending.

Here's what I put together:

--Colorful magazine pictures, ads, graphics, etc. that I cut into letters (free)
--Cream-colored fabric (already had - free)
--Glitter paper (Michael's, $1.99)
--Frame (Michael's, $8 after 40% off coupon)
--Glue, scissors (already had)

I knew my Secret Santa giftee liked St. Catherine of Siena and so I figured a quote from her would be perfect.

Also, I got the inspiration for this framed-quote-using-magazine-clippings idea from a picture of one, believe it or not, in a magazine, with the quote

Do

What

You

LOVE

What 

You 

Do

I thought this was a great quote too, but went with St. Catherine instead.  You could of course also use the actual printed letters from magazines as well for framed quotes!

Anyway here's a close-up.  I was going for a multi-textured look by using the fabric, but you can always just use some clean white paper, or any color for that matter.  

Now go see Sheena's awesome Magazine Art idea too!

On the occasion of my 29th Birthday...

The month of May is great, isn't it?  Spring is in full boom, school lets out soon, Mother's Day is around the corner, and so many birthdays of friends and family members to celebrate, including my mother-in-law, my sister, my friend KM, Mia, and me! 

I would say my expectations for birthdays are mid-range...I don't expect the day to be perfect, or for it to be the best day out of all 365, or for me to not have to lift a finger all day (though that would be nice!), but I definitely  intend to have fun, eat food that I feel like eating, do things I feel like doing, and spend time with some of my favorite people.

And, once May 4th, 2014 started with me sleeping in until 7:10, 1-2 hours past my usual morning wake-ups with the ever eager-for-the-day-to-begin Mia, I knew it was going to be an exceptionally great birthday.  

I fed Mia and went straight for the presents.  I had asked Joel for this sewing machine, as I thought this would solidify my "stay-at-home-mom" status even better and more fun than, say, a "SAHM" self portrait tattoo.  

Or maybe something like this..

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/06/this-is-why-ill-never-be-adult.html

Anyway, I digress. As I walked into the kitchen where my present was sitting and surprisingly well-wrapped in last-week's newspaper, I noticed not one but two gifts.  The big one was surely my Singer machine I had asked for, but what the heck was the other one??

Well, my husband proved himself an awesome gift-giver once again, and surprised me with a beautiful - I mean Beautiful - book about how to make paper flowers.  One of my Favorite Hobbies On The Planet.

Here is the book:

  

It has a forward written by Martha Stewart, so you know it's going to be good.  Isn't the cover even so beautiful??  Just looking at it makes me happy.

Anyway, the unexpectedness and perfectness of it were just too much...and I cried. Just a tiny little bit people! Not that much.  But enough to acknowledge.  Personal, thoughtful gifts...a rising love language for me most definitely.

Shortly after present-opening, we decided to go out for breakfast (one of my favorite "luxury" pastimes), and agreed on La Grande Orange.  On the way there, Joel suggested I text a friend of mine that I haven't seen or spoken with in practically a year, who I wasn't really sure about the status of our friendship.  I miss her and think about her often, and told Joel a while ago that once I start staying home and have more free-time I was going to make an effort to get back in touch with her.  He suggested I text her to see if we could stop by and say hi after breakfast like we had done many times in the past.

I hemmed and hawed, wondering if now was a good time, trying to come up with the right words to use, etc. etc.  As we pulled into the parking lot, I got the same feeling I get almost every year on my birthday.  It's an emotionally charged thought that Life is short, that there is no time to live with regrets, and to not put off things till "later."  Now is the time.  I pushed send on the text message and went inside.

Midway through the breakfast I received a warm text message from my friend saying that she would love to see us, but she is out of the state for a few days, and that we should plan something soon.  

I was feeling such relief and excitement to finally touch base, but the best was yet to come.

After returning home, putting Mia down for a nap, hanging around the house and reading my new favorite book on the couch for a few hours, I decided to check my email, which I rarely do on a Sunday. In my inbox was an email from my friend, sent an hour before I had texted her that morning, congratulating me on Mia's Baptism (she didn't realize it was my birthday).  So if you're doing the math right...we each separately decided to connect with one another, on the same exact day, after not speaking / seeing / texting one another for almost a year.

All I can say is that it renewed in me even more strongly, that life is too short to not do those things we know matter most.  Don't hold back.  Don't over-analyze.  Just do it! :)

Ok back to finish my all-important birthday summary.  After 5:00 Mass we threw in a frozen pizza, put Mia to bed, ate more than one chocolate-caramel-nut brownie, and settled in for a movie.  Even though the movie was t e r r i b l e  and we couldn't even finish it- it was so bad, it couldn't begin to detract from my awesome day.  I feel so blessed by my family and friends, and am excited for the year to come.

Amen.  
Or something.

PS. Anyone think that Facebook has made birthdays 10 times better than they already were?  Dear Facebook: you  can be really annoying sometimes, but on my birthday, I appreciate you.  The end.